The woman who was jealous of herself. 1 The Suspension Bridge Clifton

The Suspension Bridge, Clifton, Bristol.

It is midday on the last Friday in April.   The weather is typical of the west of England in April.  It is sunny for half an hour, then windy and then there is a short but heavy shower of rain. It is confusing weather but spring is confusing.  People who remember to take their umbrella find it blown inside out.  Those who leave theirs at home find they need it.  James, in his mid-20s, has just come back after working a year in Dubai.  He has arranged to meet up with an old school friend, Henry. They are on the Suspension Bridge looking down at the river far below.

James:         Did we really have to meet up here?  I can’t stand heights. I can’t think straight when I am peering down at trees and roads beneath me. Henry, I’ve just arrived in Bristol, and you’ve worked here for ages.  I trusted you to suggest somewhere sensible where we could meet up again. Isn’t there anywhere in this city that doesn’t make you quite so dizzy?  A bar perhaps, at sea level? Why the Suspension Bridge? (He looks over the railing.)  Ugh! 

Henry:        I never could resist a touch of the dramatic.  Enjoy the views.  Over here, on the left, you have the city of Bristol. Over there are the rolling hills of Somerset in the distance and here, beneath us, if you look down, the River Avon flows to the Bristol Channel.  The Bristol Channel leads to the high seas, to adventure on sunny Pacific Islands with sandy beaches fringed with palm trees.  

James:         You always did exaggerate, Henry, even when we were at school together. This bridge is awfully high.  I can hardly see the river down there.

Henry:        That’s because the tide’s out.  There is hardly any river there at the moment.

James:         I’ll take your word for it.

Henry:        You’re an engineer, James.  You shouldn’t mind high bridges.

James:         I do foundations.  I keep my feet very firmly on the ground or even under it.

Henry:        Very wise, but very boring! Anyway what’s on your mind?  What did you want my advice about? Why this cry for help? Why this urgency?

James:         Well, it’s all bit tricky really.  You see I have to go and meet this person.

Henry:        Person?

James:         Well, yes.  This person, this girl here in Bristol. It’s a duty call. Her parents are old friends of my parents, and when my father heard that I’d been sent to work in Bristol for a year, he asked me to look her up. 

Henry:        OK, so what’s the problem?  You call her, you arrange a meeting you have a cup of coffee in Starbucks, tell her how pleased you are to have met her, chat for 10 minutes about how cold it is for the time of year, you say you think it will be warmer tomorrow and then you leave.  Then you phone your father, and you tell him how nice it was to see her. Job done!  Now let’s go and get a drink somewhere and…

James:         It’s not as easy as that.

Henry:        No?

James:         She’s a lecturer at Bristol University.  The Spanish department.

Henry;        Yes?

James:         What do you mean ‘Yes?’  You remember how terrified I am of clever women? She’s a university teacher of Spanish.  She must be very high powered.  Not for me at all. I’ll get all tongue-tied and shuffle about like a schoolboy who’s been caught smoking. I’m dreading it.

Henry:        Yes, I do remember now.  I also remember a dance in Manchester where I introduced you to a very attractive blonde lawyer, with blue eyes if I remember correctly.  You shook her hand, mumbled ‘Excuse me a moment’, walked out the door and were never seen again.

James:         So what are we going to do?

Henry:        We?  Oh alright.   We’ll go together.  You go in and say hello and order a couple of coffees, and after 5 minutes I’ll burst in and say you’re needed at work.  Big crisis. Foundations falling in or something!   And then we’ll rush off together.  Job done. (sings) ‘I’ll be there for you’, as they say.

James:         It may work.  I think it needs a bit of refining though.  

Henry:        Come on.  Screw your courage to the sticking point.  Phone up this formidable girl.  What’s her name, by the way? And you arrange a meeting. Just a five-minute coffee, get it over...

James:         Magdalena. That's a good name for a lecturer in Spanish!

Henry:        Magdalena. Yes, very appropriate.  Well, phone up this Magdalena, and arrange a meeting.  Now, I must go.  Remember, I expect to hear from you later today!  Why not meet her here?

James:         Thanks, Henry.  But I will not meet her up here.  It’s going to be bad enough meeting her anywhere, but here, at this height, overlooking a river that isn’t there, that’s more than i can manage.  Where do you suggest?

Henry:        That’s for you to sort out.  Now, I know a very good pub near here.  Come on!

James:         At least we can get off this bridge and on to dry land!

Saturday morning in Starbucks. James is pacing up and down  when Magdalena comes in. 

Magdalena:  James? 
He jumps nervously.
James:         It’s awfully good of you to find the   … er…time to meet me.  Very good of you.Such a nice day!

Magdalena: Well, it's alright.  So you were saying on the phone that our parents were very good friends.

James:         Er..yes.  Very good apparently.  At least our fathers were.  They were at school together. A long time ago now.

Magdalena: Yes it must have been.

James:         Yes, it must.  Really quite a long time ago.

Magdalena: So what do you do, James?

James:         Me? Do? Oh yes, I’m an engineer.  Foundations. Shafts. Tunnels.  That sort of thing.

Magdalena: And are you building a tunnel in Bristol?

James:         Yes, I mean no.  It is a tunnel but it’s just outside Bristol. It’s a sort of tunnel under a road junction. For another road…that joins the junction…and goes under it...sort of. (He looks round desperately for Henry).

Magdalena: And do like tunnels?

James:         Oh yes, very much.  Tunnels and shafts and ..

Magdalena: Foundations?

James:         Yes, that’s it.  Foundations.

Henry:        (Running in) James, thank goodness I’ve found you.  Why don’t you answer your mobile?  An emergency at work, I’m afraid.  The foundations have caved in.  You’ve got to go right now to sort it out!  Terrible mess!

James:         Ah Henry, thank goodness you’ve....  I mean, Oh dear what a pity.  I’m very sorry, Magdalena, I really have to go.  The foundations have…er..caved in all of a sudden. 

Magdalena: Yes, so I heard.  How conven… I mean, inconvenient of them! Still, this is what happens, I suppose, with foundations! Didn’t you use enough glue?

James:         Glue?

Henry:        It’s a joke, stupid.  I do apologise for my friend.  He’s in a state of shock.  Because of his foundations!

Magdalena: Yes, I suppose he is.  But I expect he will feel very much better when he has left here.

James:         Oh yes I will.  I mean, no.  I am very sorry to have to go.  Very sorry!  Must be an awful mess there, at the road junction.  You’d never believe it!

Magdalena: No, I don’t think I would.

James:         Well, there we are.  I’ll be off.  Very sorry. Would have loved to have stayed longer.

Magdalena: Would you?  Well in that case we can meet again.  At the Llandoger Trow. It’s in King Street.  Will you remember the name?

James:         Oh yes.

Magdalena: Next Friday!  To celebrate our first meeting!

James:         To celebrate?

Magdalena: Yes, at 8 o’clock. Will you remember the time?

James:         Oh yes. At 8 o’clock.

Magdalena: Well, that’s that then!  Thanks so much for insisting! I am really looking forward to it! (She leaves)

James:         What a disaster!

Henry:        Yes, she’s quite a woman. Very attractive.

James:         Is she? I didn’t dare look at her face.

Henry:        And, she fancies you.

James:         That’s a cruel joke Henry. I haven’t said anything sensible all morning.

Henry:        It’s not only what you say, James. She wouldn’t have arranged next Friday if she wasn’t interested. Anyway, finish your coffee and let’s leave the scene of battle.  We have to plan for next week you know.

James:         Oh Lord yes.  I’ll have to go through it all again next Friday.   What a way to start the weekend! No peace for the wicked!  Henry, you couldn’t rush in again and say…

Henry:        That the foundations have collapsed for the second time in a week.  Don’t be ridiculous.  Surely you're a better engineer than that!  
James:        Yes, she'd never believe it a second time.
Henry:        I don't think she believed it the first time.  We’ll have to adopt another strategy.

James:         A strategy.  Yes.  That sounds good.

Henry:        Come on. Let’s go and get a proper drink.

James:         Where are we going?

Henry:        To the Llandoger Trow of course.  It will be good for you to study the terrain.