The woman who was jealous of herself. 8

James goes to Magdalena’s house to return the book.  Her father answers the door.

Harold:       Ah, James.  Do come in!   

James:         Well, I’ve just come to bring back this book.  It’s Magdalena’s. 

Harold:       Ah good?  Enjoy it, did you?

James:         Hardly understood a word! 

Harold:       Really? In Spanish was it?

James:         No, no! This is the translation! 

Harold:       Sometimes the translation is harder than the original, you know!  Years ago I took the decision never to read anything in translation!

James:         That was very brave!  So, if you read things in the original, how many languages do you know?

Harold:       None at all, apart from English!  And I’m beginning to forget that!

James:         But you said you never read…

Harold:       That’s right I don’t!  And it’s saved me an awful lot of reading over the years.  Pottering about in the gardening and watching cricket are much more interesting.  You use up fewer calories watching cricket than being asleep!  Did you know that?  At least, you used to.  Now cricket has become so dramatic with Twenty20 and all that! But generally gardening and cricket go at my pace you know. (Looks at Magdalena’s book)  Anyway, what’s it about?

James:         I really don’t know. I was totally lost. I never understand who is who! There’s one woman pretending to be another woman and then there’s this man who loves one of them but not the other.  And it all takes place in Madrid in 16 hundred and something! It’s not my sort of thing at all. I don’t know why she gave it to me!  Very confusing!  What’s more, it would never happen in real life!

Harold:       Well, forget the book for the moment. It’s got nothing to do with what’s happening now. Look James, I don’t want to interfere but I have been thinking.

James:         Oh dear!

Harold:       (Ignoring the last remark)  About you and Magdalena, you know!  I think your trouble is lack of courage!

James:         Lack of courage?

Harold:       Yes, you have to believe in yourself!  You have to take the bull by the horns!   You have to grab the nettle!

James:         The bull!  The nettle!  Not very complimentary to Magdalena, but I think I’ve got the point! But it’s not that easy. She’s far too clever for me!  We have a normal chat, and by the time I think of something sensible to say, the moment is long past!  Apparently there’s a phrase for it in French!  It’s ‘L’esprit de l’escalier!’

Harold:       Ah, there you have me, I’m afraid.  If we start going into French!

James:         It means ‘Staircase wit!’

Harold:       None the wiser, James. Sorry but I’m none the wiser.

James:         Well, it means that you only think of the witty thing to say when you have left the party and you’re going down the staircase on your way out.

Harold:       So French parties are held on the first floor then?

James:         Well, I don’t know about that.  I suppose the posh parties were in the drawing room upstairs, but that’s not the point.  What it’s saying is that anyone can say clever things later on.  What matters is saying them at the right moment, in the heat of the conversation.

Harold:       In the heat of the conversation!  Yes, that sounds very French.  But, with Magdalena if you can’t think of anything at the time, you could email her afterwards or… whatshisname… Whats App her later on.

James:         Oh that would be marvellous!  ‘Hi Magdalena, Here is what I really meant to say 40 minutes ago, when I was tongue tied, when I was looking down at the floorboards and when I said nothing.’  You can imagine her reaction to that!

Harold:       Yes, I can, actually! It is just how she looks at me sometimes. But James.  Being clever isn’t everything.  She is clever enough for both of you.  What matters is never giving up!  ‘Faint heart never won fair lady’, you know!

James:         I wish you wouldn’t come out with all these sayings.

Harold:       But they’re true

James:         Yes, I know.  That’s why I wish you wouldn’t come out with them!

Harold:       When I was your age, I persisted.  I wouldn’t take no for an answer.  I kept on and on like water wearing down a stone.  I think that Magdalena’s mother accepted me out of tiredness.  She saw I wouldn’t go away and so she took the least line of resistance.  Best thing I ever did, though.

James:  Water on a stone, eh?  Thank you, Harold.  I wish we had had this chat earlier.  You’ve helped me a lot.

Harold:       (surprised) I have?  Well, that’s good.  Never give up!  ‘Nil desperandum’.  My school motto, you know! Well, good luck then!

James:         Goodbye Harold.  Water wearing down a stone!  That’s good!