The woman who was jealous of herself 6

In Falsetto’s once more. A week has passed since the first meal there.  Magdalena’s parents, Harold and Vivienne, are sitting at a table in the corner.

Harold:       Are you sure this is the place?  But how did you know they were coming here?

Vivienne:    Well, I had to go to Magdalena’s room and I saw this note on her table.  I happened to read it.

Harold;       You just happened to read it?  No good will come of this! Mark my words, Vivienne.  You should never read notes that your daughter has left on her table. 

Vivienne:    You never read notes left for you on your own table!  So if I do a bit of extra reading, between us we balance out.  Anyway this note said she was meeting James here at 8 o’clock for a meal.

Harold:       James?

Vivienne:    Really Harold, your senior moments are all merging into one long senior existence.  You’re having senior weeks or even senior months now.

Harold:       Never mind that.  Just remind me who James is.

Vivienne:    He came to our house about two weeks ago.  Magdalena brought him. They just stayed 10 minutes.  He’s the son of what’s his name, your old school friend.

Harold:       Who’s having a senior moments now/?

Vivienne:    Anyway, we thought, or at least I thought and you agreed, that Magdalena rather liked him.

Harold:       What?

Vivienne:    She’s keen on him, Harold, and I want to see how they’re getting on!

Harold:       Well, I still think it’s interference.  Anyway, it’s eight o’clock now and they’re not here, and I’m dying for the loo!  I haven't been to the loo for at least 20 mintes.  As men get older, you see, they have to keep within sight of the toilet.  You see, it's the pro...
Vibienne:  I know what it is.  Just go!
Harold:  Yes, alright.  Good. I’ll see you in a minute or two.

Vivienne:    Well, I might as well go too.  I have a feeling this is going to be a long evening!

They both leave.

James and Magdalena come in.  Magdalena is dressed as April.

Magdalena: The same table as last week!  That’s a good start.

James:         Yes, I am a creature of habit!

Magdalena: Good habits or bad habits?

James;         Oh, bad ones, definitely.  You’ll soon see!

Magdalena: That sounds like a promise!

James:         Maybe!  Maybe!    

They clap hands, a high five, over the table.

Harold and Vivienne return in time to see this.

Vivienne:    Ah hello James.  What a surprise. (Looks at Magdalena) A big surprise!  How nice to see you.

Harold:       Is this James?  Well, this isn’t Magdalena. Now look here, James.  I thought you’d be out with…

Vivienne:    (She takes Harold's elbow and steers him away.) Our table is over there, Harold.    Come along and sit down.

James:         I’m beginning to think this restaurant is bewitched.  People keep appearing when they shouldn’t.  Now your parents are here. Are they real or are they just apparitions?

Magdalena:  Yes, I think they may be real!  Unfortunately!  Well, these people seem to know you!  Is your name James?

James:         Oh yes.  Alex James.

Magdalena: I like James for a name!

Vivienne passes the table again and gives Magdalena a furious glance and nods at her to follow her.

Magdalena: (To James, with a forced laugh.) Oh, excuse me a moment. I have to go the ladies.    

She follows Vivienne.

Vivienne:    So what’s the game?

Magdalena: The game?  Anyway, what are you and Dad doing here?

Vivienne:    I saw a note on your dressing table and couldn’t resist the temptation to come along. Anyway, that’s beside the point. What on earth are you doing?  You might fool James.  You might fool your father.  Well, you do fool James and you do fool your father, but they’re men.  Anyone can fool a man!  But you don’t fool me.  What exactly, if a mother may know, are you doing?  And dressed like that! You look like a… Well, never mind what you look like!  And that wig!  Heavens, that wig!  It’s like a floor mop!

Magdalena: Yes, I’ve heard that before!  It is a bit over the top, I admit.  Still, it works!

Vivienne:    I won’t tell your father.  He doesn’t understand these things. But it’s not fair on James!  It really isn’t!  Just drop it!  No more ghastly wigs and miniskirts! Have you looked at the colours you’re wearing? Now, listen to my advice. 

Magdalena: I always listen to your advice.

Vivienne:    Yes, I know you do, but you hardly ever follow it!  Actually you did it pretty well.  The acting, I mean.

Magdalena: Thank you.

Vivienne:    Yes, you ought to be lecturing in drama rather than in Spanish literature.  You missed your vocation!  You should be on the stage!

While Magdalena and Vivienne are talking, Harold comes over to James.

Harold:       May I sit down?

James:         But of course.

Harold:       This is none of my business really, but we thought you’d be here with Magdalena and not this…this, er…other young lady.  

James:         Well, I er… have seen Magdalena this week.  But tonight I’m with this er…other young lady.

Harold:       Well, yes of course.  But I don’t want to see my daughter hurt in all this …coming and going.

James:         Hurt? Why on earth should she be hurt?

Harold;       Well, she…um…she is rather fond of you apparently.

James:         She couldn’t be!  She can’t be! She’s never even considered me!  She’s hardly looked at me! With her I’ve always been either boring or stupid or both simultaneously!  You’ve got it all wrong, you know!

Harold:       Oh no, it’s not me!  It’s Magdalena’s mother.  She told me.  And she is never wrong about these things!  Ever!  Anyway, I won’t intrude.  Have a pleasant evening!

Harold gets up and goes back to his table.

Vivienne and Magdalena return to their own tables.  James is lost in thought.

Magdalena: A penny for them!

James:         Oh I’m so sorry.  I was miles away. 

Magdalena: With someone else?

James:         Yes, with… Oh no, no.  Not at all!  I was thinking of… (he takes the menu)  the dessert.  I am torn between the brownie with award-winning ice-cream and the award-winning rhubarb crumble with custard.

Magdalena: Is it award-winning custard too? Why don’t you choose something that’s not award-winning?  Much less risky!

James:         (He picks up the menu again.)  There’s nothing else left!  Everything on the menu has won an award!  Anyway, let’s move to the White Hart again.  There are not so many people there! And there are fewer risks of sudden apparitions!

They leave, and James nods to Harold and Vivienne as they go.

Vivienne:    Well, an interesting evening!  Better than staying at home watching the telly!

Harold:       Yes, very interesting.  I had a word with young James, you know!

Vivienne:    You did what!  Harold you should never interfere! I never do!

Harold:       Oh no, I didn’t interfere!  It just that I didn’t like to see him with that girl in the miniskirt.  I just told him that I thought that Magdalena liked him.

Vivienne:    You didn’t!  Don’t you realise….  Wait a minute!  Yes, that was a good idea!  Well done!  You’re quite clever at times! You really are! (Tries a high five but gets no response so she leans over and gives him a kiss.)

Harold:       Am I?  Well I never!