Dorigen 13 Roderick

‘To be false, to lose my name

To give my body up to shame,

And every night and every day

Be racked by thoughts of what I did,

That cannot be.
There's no path forward there.

But there is one way that I can pay

For the promise that I made.

I can finish everything here and now

And have no debt to any man.’

As Dorigen sat upon her bed

Into her head came the long list 

Of women who all chose to die

When threatened with such shame.

‘Remember the wife of Hasdrubal

Who took her life when Carthage fell,

When Roman soldiers stormed the town.

She would not be touched by their lecherous hands.

Did not Lucretia kill herself

In Rome when raped by Tarquin?

She could not live when she had lost her name.’

And so she wept for two whole days and nights,
And nights are worse
When it is dark and when we are alone, 

And then when Roderick came home,

She said nothing, nothing at all,

But just looked up at him.

When he saw the marks of her red eyes

Stained by the tears which she had dried,

He gently asked her why she cried,

And then her tears came faster and the more she wept.

She told him then, as I’ve told you,

The story of the promise that she made.

‘And now the rocks have gone away!’ she said.

Her husband held her close and said,

‘Is there nothing else but this, my Dorigen?’

‘And is this not enough for tears?’

‘My love’ said he, ‘Let sleep now what is sleeping.

All may yet be well.

Your promise must be kept.

Our word is our life,

And we will keep our truth.’

And saying that, he burst out weeping.

He held her close and said,
‘Dorigen. Never,  while you live,

Tell anyone of this.

Together we will face this shame.

No one will know this thing has been.

Now go to keep your word.’

He kissed her and he put his cloak 
Around her trembling shoulders.

He held her tight

But she trembled all the more
With tears and cold.

He took her hand as she went to the door

And out into the bustling street

Where the people went about their daily lives,

Some to work and some to drink with friends,

All cheerful with their busy plans.